Sometimes, success begins to cost

There are people who climb every rung of the ladder without stepping on anyone.

There are also people who, once they reach the top, begin to believe they climbed there alone.

The difference between the two groups is not visible on the day of the promotion. At that moment everyone congratulates them, shakes their hand, wishes them success and looks ahead. The difference only starts to show a few months later, when the new role is no longer a novelty and power naturally settles into their lives.

That is when some people’s memories begin to fade.

They forget who explained the first procedures to them when they did not know where to start. They forget the colleague who covered their mistakes without humiliating them. They forget the manager who put their signature on their projects when they still lacked sufficient experience. They forget the team that stayed late so the result could be presented as a shared success.

They do not forget because they are bad people.

They forget because power has a subtle effect on memory. It gives them the impression that they have always been where they are today.

I have encountered such situations many times.

The person who, until yesterday, asked for advice begins to stop accepting it.

The person who always had time for every colleague now shuts their office door.

The person who longed to be listened to starts speaking without listening.

It is not the role that produces this change.

The role merely gives them the chance to show who they are when they no longer depend on others.

That is why promotions should be viewed with greater care.

Not only for what they bring.

But also for what they can take away.

Sometimes they take patience.

Other times modesty.

Other times gratitude.

And almost always they take something far harder to recover: the trust of the people who stood beside you when the role meant nothing.

There is a moment that almost every team notices, even if they never discuss it.

It is the instant when people stop looking at the new manager with joy and begin to regard them with caution.

Not because they have become demanding.

Demanding behaviour is natural.

But because, little by little, they start to treat differently exactly those who helped them most.

Those who tell them the truth.

Those who contradict them when they are wrong.

Those who remind them, unwittingly, of the person they were before.

Perhaps this is why some leaders end up surrounded, over time, only by people who agree with them.

Not because that is what they wanted.

But because, along the way, they have driven away precisely those who had the courage to speak the truth.

In the legal profession there is an idea I have always found valuable: no one stands above the rules. That is why, the greater the power, the greater the responsibility to exercise it with restraint.

I believe the same principle should apply in any team.

It is not the role that defines who you are.

Nor the salary.

Nor the office in which you work.

People form their opinion of you by the way you treat those who can no longer bring you any advantage.

The colleague who helped you when you were starting out.

The person you can promote or ignore.

The one who dares to contradict you.

The one who has nothing to offer except sincerity.

Success changes many things.

It changes your responsibilities.

It changes your schedule.

It changes the people around you.

But there is one change no one notices immediately.

Every day you choose to forget who stood by you while you were still climbing, you lose a little of the person you once were.

And success that forces you to give up gratitude is no longer, by any measure, just success.

It is a cost.

And, more often than not, it is one you only understand when you look around and realise you are surrounded by people who respect your position but no longer respect you.